It's comforting to know that she's studying harder this sem- she goes night study with friends. However, I presumed she goes night study because of her frens. If her frens dun wan to study, she wun stay in school to study. It's not that her frens are bad, but her priorities are wrong, even till now. She has already "died" twice, once in 'O' level, another during her mid yr exam this year. How many times does she wan to experience the same thing again? Or maybe the consequences are not painful enough? Her killer is not being lazy or so, but her frens, which is her limiting factor. She can plan very well, but once her frens comes into the picture, everything can be changed for them. So if that's the case, why study. She studies for her frens, not for herself. It's just a case of the blind leading the blind. Her frens never take 'A' level before, or go university before, so what advice can they give? Can they teach her and let her know the standard of the students that they are pitting against during 'A's?
It's good to go out with her frens occasionally, but going out will form the bonds between them that will make it more difficult to break in future. She's the kind who put frens first, and so history may repeat itself for her 'A's. There's really no turning back now. One small mistake may cause her 6 years, if, to get a diploma... Of cause, tat's the worst case.
A typical JC student mindset is studies first, becos they know there's no turning back. The stakes are high. And for her, hers is much much higher, and uphill task. Even I have no confidence to take her route. I feel that her poor 'O' level results is due to her priorities. She is smart, but wrong mentality. If that time I continue to coach her, she should be able to get into JC. I tried to change her fate once last year, because I "see" the final results, but in the end I can't fight fate, or should I say she can't fight fate, because I see some results during her mid year exams. On my part, I've changed her fate once, but she chose to give up. She got the results that I predicted. And that is why after her 'O' level, I wrote a letter to her to "console" her, even before her results are out. But now seems that she still can't learn from the previous mistake. There are some things that I can't tell- I can't tell her of her 'O' level results even before she take her 'O' level. But I do things with some reasons behind, only that I can't tell and will need her trust, if she wants to change her fate.
Sometimes people only learn when there's pain. If the pain is not painful enough, they will not learn. I should stop spoon feeding and let her learn and bear the consequences for things she chose and done, perhaps, sadly to say, the hard way. By carrying on spoon feeding, she may take me as a nag, which I already feel so, and i'm tired of that, and it may affect the friendship. Perhaps that's the best way for her to grow up, to let her feel pain, even to the extent of excruciating pain, if it can wake her. By providing for her, I'm only stunting her growth. Ok, I will not pass her the notes until she ask for it. If she dun even wan to ask, then I'll throw it away or get it returned. I want to see her effort to at least ask. Ask and it is given.
Sometimes, something, it's better to act blur. At times I just wonder why do people lie, especially without a motive, or maybe I dunno the motive. Someone lied today, and I felt... perhaps insulted. Initially I believe her until later when she split the beans without herself knowing while over the phone, or maybe it's on purpose. This is not the first time. But well, I just take it as it is. Just play along.
posted by Whiteaura II @ 11:01 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home