On this last day of 2006, let me summarise my entire year. Perhaps I can split the year into first half and second half:
The first half of the year and the second half of the year is very different. The first half is filled with heartache, sadness, obstacles, stress etc. In february, things deteriorate between me and Xinyan. And the relationship breaks down. In april, went Taiwan for training. In june, I told my boss that I wanted to leave the force, after seeing so many disgusting things and people inside.
The second half of the year is like another new life for me. It's entirely different. I started my post graduate studies. I tried to be a pilot for SIA, and still trying. I left the force, and sometimes doing relief teaching. It's less stressful, more relaxing period for me. The first time in my life that I have a goal: To get into SIA as a pilot. Life is more energizing. Perhaps the best take away during this time is the relief teaching. Got to know some wonderful students who taught me a lot of things. They taught me about trust, about free will, about love. The love doesn't mean bgr kind. Sometimes adults tend to think what can young kids teach them? In actual fact they can teach them a lot. Keep an open mind. Treat them as equal. They may not have as much knowledge as them, but they have something that is long lost in adults- Innocence, simplicity, love.
I become more interested in afterlife and past life. More into the spirituality, metaphysics aspect. It's what Xinyan used to tell me about a year back. And it took me a year. There's no good or bad. There's always a time for everything.
I must say I am very different for the first half of the year and the second half of the year. I was like a money making zombie, lifeless, goal-less, aimless, for the first half. The second half is almost the exact opposite. I learn of lot from my falls, from lessons of other people, from opportunities.
And last of all, at the last day of the year, wish everybody a Happy New Year!
Just a few stranded thots when reading a book, so decided to pen it down:
1) I believe that human beings are connected by resonance. Why is it that sometimes we like, or hate, or feel connected to a complete stranger? Maybe their energy level is vibrating at the same level as us, that's y the connection...
2) We have 2 sets of eyes, the physical eyes and the heart's eye. I remembered Lelio once told me, "U can easily feel if a person is sincere or not." And he cited a few examples. Yup, it's looking thru not the physical eyes. How many of us only see what can be seen? When is the last time u feel some things? U can see human, u can see things, but can u feel them?
3) People come into our lives at certain times for various reasons having to do with lessons to be learned. It is not a coincidence that they didn't meet at much earlier age when they did not have other commitment
4) Self love is the basis for love of others. It is where real charity begins. When u love urself, it will spill over; when u don't love urself, ur energy will consciously or unconsciously be focused on finding it, and u wun have time for anybody else.
5) Maddie always say, there's a time for everything. And I agreed with her. A year ago when Xinyan was telling me about past life regression etc, I was like"... ok...". It wasn't my time then. And a year later, I began to read a lot of books on afterlife, past life etc. So if anyone reading it do not understand a single thing, it's ok. Maybe one day u will understand.
I feel that whenever u help someone or made a difference in their lives, it's like lighting a candle, the candle of life.
In the tsunami of 2004, The Rotary Club of Singapore send a team of young volunteers to Thailand to help to rebuild the homeland. Before they left, Jimmy, the person incharge, asked one of the volunteers how he wanted to help those people. And that volunteer said that he wanted to make a difference to the lives of those Tsunami victims.
At the end of the whole thing, Jimmy ask the same volunteer again how he had helped them and that guy said:"I wanted to make a difference to their lives, but in turn, they had made a difference in my live."
How many times have we felt that we r more superior? An adult seeing a kid, does he feel that he's more superior than them? In my previous job, I used to have a number of people under me. I tell them they cannot go back that weekend and that's it. I tell them they have to work late and that's it too. But am I more superior than them? NO.
What makes u feel that u r more superior than others? As we grow up, our egos grow too. And it blinds us from the fact that everyone is equal. We become more protective, and less open to things around us. And once we're not open, we can't learn.
Who can confidently says that he is more superior than a 3 years old kid? Yes, the adult has the money, the power etc. But the 3 year old kid has something that money can't buy. He has happiness, he has simplicity, he has innocence, he has the world. And what makes an adult feel that he is superior than a 15 year old student?
The more we gain in one thing, the more we lose in another. Everyone has 24hrs a day. No one has more, no one has less.
So everytime we go around helping people, we're like lighting up their candle. Many people lighted up my candle too, from all walks of lives, and from all ages. Did I light up ur candle?
Is time linear? Is tomorrow always the day after today? What if the day after today is yesterday?
What about space? Is space linear?
